Levo ergo sum

Does Nietzsche even lift bro?

The first question here is: he may have drunk milk but what kind of protein powder did he put in it? And please tell me it wasn’t soy milk - which has no effect on lowers your testosterone according to the nutrition scientists at my gym. No, Nietzsche would have to guzzle pure cow juice brought to him by flaxen-haired Rhinemaidens.

Lets get on to the most important philosophical question of our time: Did Nietzsche even lift, bro? And then this leads into allied fields of inquiry such as what is the tren regime of the Übermensch?

This has been the subject of prolonged academic debate:

• Does Nietzsche ever mention physical training? Or the importance of a strong physique?

• Did Friedrich Nietzsche work out?

• “Body By Nietzsche”: Understanding How Training Works Through The Lens Of Philosophy (Ongoing Series!)

Unfortunately it would appear that Nietzsche did not lift. Instead he walked. And not just regularly walking like you or I might do. Not even that kind of power walking where you look like you are having therapy to recover from polio. No, he was taking walking to the next level.

“I am walking a lot, through the forest, and having tremendous conversations with myself.” “During my long walks I had wept too much, and not sentimental tears but tears of happiness, singing and staggering, taken over by a new gaze that marks my privilege over the men of today.”

Fortunately he was doing this talking to himself and crying and singing in the forest where no one could arrest him for being a crazy person. Eventually he was banging 10 hours a day of walking. Now obviously he did not have access to treadmill which is perhaps the greatest tragedy to befall him (apart from maybe in the insanity and the syphilis). Imagine where his philosophy could have ascended to with a stairmaster.

All these facts leave me torn. On the one hand, walking is obviously not lifting and if you even suggest it is equivalent then I have to question whether you even lift. On the other, I think that Nietzsche shows us a new way forward here - Leg Day as Judgment Day.

I will now be walking 10 hours a day while crying, singing and talking to myself and drinking milk constantly. You may call this insanity but to me this is just working on my core. The core of my being.

As Nietzsche himself said: “And if you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will also gaze into you”.

And by “abyss”, he obviously means the gym mirror.